Friday, October 7, 2011

PSA: You might be a crime writer if...

This list arrived in my email box today, courtesy of my husband, who forwarded it from a colleague at the real estate firm, who'd probably gotten it from someone else. Supposedly, it was written by a cop, although the fact that some of the information is questionable - the part about the baby cry recording seems to be urban legend - I'm not sure. However, I don't think it matters, since it's excellent advice we should all keep in mind.

Not to mention a hell of a story idea.

You know you're a crime writer when a list like this makes you brainstorm plots for your next book!

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do:

The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM.

Toss it away from you instead....

Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. Leaving you to RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit there, doing their checkbook, looking at their receipt, or checking of a chore list.

DON'T DO THIS!

This is the perfect opportunity for a predator to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.

AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

If someone else is in the car with a gun to your head, DO NOT DRIVE OFF!

Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat, they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes, bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot or parking garage:

Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor and in the back seat.

If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a
guard/policeman to walk you back out.

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone
and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at night!

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN!

The predator will only hit a running target 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, preferably in a zig -zag pattern!

8. As women are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP.

Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played
on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often
asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point:

Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird.

The police told her "Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door."

He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.

10. Water scam!

If you wake up in the middle of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a
burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE! These people turn on all your outside taps full blast so that you will go out to investigate, and then attack.

As an additional tip from me: Stay where there are other people. As a friend in New York City told me when I was but a wee little nineteen-year-old wandering the city at all hours of the day and night: never walk down a deserted street. Go where there are other people. You never know what might be there that you can't see.
Stay alert, keep safe, and look out for your neighbors!

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